I just realized that every time I make a mental shift in my art, I get stuck. The mental decision is made but the action stalls out. For the past 5 months, I created black and white pinhole images fairly consistently. A roll entered the development tank every week or so. I managed to use an entire bottle of Rodinal, 5 to 15 ml at a time.
My goal this summer is to learn how to develop C-41 color film at home. The chemicals have been purchased, cleaned up the sink in the basement, and have a few rolls of color film to develop. However, I managed to find other things to do rather than develop a roll of color film this past week. Maybe my subconscious is trying to protect myself from potential disappointment.
It feels weird realizing that I am avoiding my own work right now. It felt almost like an out of body experience. Now I need to figure out how to ignore the self doubts and just do.